dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
