took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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