I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
