I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
