did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
