we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
