so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
