Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize