who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
