whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
