I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
