dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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