Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
