i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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