what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
