I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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