And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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