We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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