what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
