I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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