Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
