just come out here and I will go home with you...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
