took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
