Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
