Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
