I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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