i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
