Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
