i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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