I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
