forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it was like having sex with a tree stump
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
