I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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