but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
