i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize