No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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