why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
