my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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