God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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