With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
