____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
