She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
