it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
