You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Randomize
