just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
