Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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