we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
