I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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