: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
"it" just moved
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
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