I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
