Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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