member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I need moral support for this bender
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
