I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
