she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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