i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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