did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
