I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize