covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
