I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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