I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
