Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
