"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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