Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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