kristin has been a bad kristin
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
