dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
