He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize