he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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