Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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